First Day at the Hospital (Adrian)

John 14:27 - Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.



On the first day in hospital for CT scan and biopsy, I saw the respiratory consultant on my own. In the back of my mind, I already suspected what it was but I didn't want to alarm Christine unnecessarily. Therefore, I went alone.

The consultant reviewed my CT Scan result to me and he said, "I am going to be honest with you, it is not looking good. I am going to see if I can arrange a biopsy for you today. He then rushed out from the clinic and came back 5 mins later saying that there is a slot for you today but you need to take a blood test first."  He was ever so kind and gentle. 

I was ever so calm when I heard the news, may be deep down I already know what this is.

I then arranged to go back in the same afternoon to do a biopsy, meanwhile, the lung nurse has seen me and she prescribed some pain killers for me.

I took the prescription to the hospital pharmacy, handed in my form and waited for the prescription. 

I paced up and down the corridor and my immediate thinking was what is going to happen to my family, my wife and the 2 boys, how are they going to cope without me ? Will they be alright ? How am I going to break the news to them?
Daniel was still doing his A-level. His exam is going to finish in a week's time, I should wait until he finished with his exam before I tell him.

Alone in the hospital corridor, I began to search deep in my soul.  there was no anger and bitterness.
Apart from thinking of my family and people that I loved. I wish I can have more time with them.

I thought about God and my journey
How am I going to face God.
I wish I could have more time to finish well.
My soul cries out," God have mercy on me"

I missed the people that I serve with and their lives I had invested in. There are more things that needed to be done.....